Fourth of July....

Happy Fourth of July to all of you in Blogland!

I am spending the Fourth here at home by choice...though I should be out and about enjoying all the lovely things Miami has to offer... because I am feeling pensive and am reflecting on my lack of focus. The only things I have been able to finish today are my NCIS season 8 marathon (which was quite awesome), make dinner (delicious angel hair chicken alfredo), and play a zillion games of solitaire trying to find my elusive focus. You know how they tell you in meditation and yoga classes that repetitive behaviors sharpen the mind and focus your energies...I was kind of hoping that the solitaire games would do that (and I can only stop playing when I win ;). But alas all they did was entertain my brain.

So I have decided that I am going to sit and write out a list of what I hope to accomplish in the next three weeks and hope that if I communicate my plans with the outside world it will cure my ADD-like focus (squirrel....oohhhhh).

Ok, here it goes:

- Clean out closets and rid myself of unused or unnecessary items
- Work on my plans for next school year (Kinder again hopefully)
- Exercise more!!!!
- Start planning out reading and math centers
- Create some new centers with material found online (yay for freebies and TpT!)
- Finish reading Teaching the Youngest Writers and Mechanically Speaking

So far those are my main needs. Sounds simple enough. I will FOCUS! I will git 'er done!! (Ok that was bravado, but I am hoping it carries me through). :)

Glazer Lorton Writing Workshop

Okay so I have never been the world's biggest fan of UM. For those of you who know me you know not to mention it overmuch because for some crazy reason I have never quite liked that school. But regardless I spent the past two weeks enjoying some of the efforts of the people who head up UM's School of Education and Human Development (as it is now called, more likely than not due to budget issues, but I won't get into that here either) in their Writing Workshop. I fell in love with writing again. For the past years it has always been something of a throw away activity for me. Between trying to figure out writing lesson plans, notes to parents, notes to principals, and so on and so on all the joy of writing went right out the window. Teaching writing felt like the world's worst chore and a most horrific type of punishment for myself and, more likely than not, my students.
This workshop opened my eyes to the idea that cookie cutter writing is not good writing and for the past few years that is what I had been doing in my classroom. It hurt at first to hear how horribly I had been short changing myself and my students from a quality writing education, especially when I used to love writing time so much. Each presentor and our facilitators gave good advice on writer's workshops as opposed to sentence frames, fun activities that would integrate creative and informative writing to my reading, science, and social studies activities. I have so much information that my mind is whirling even as I try to type quickly enough to cover the thoughts spewing from me. It has actually made me want to be a better teacher and to try again next year.

This is one of the projects we completed on nursery rhymes linking writing summaries to art and using words in art. Loved how great my team's turned out!

Some of the other teachers who attended the Writing workshop discussing something to add on their reflection sheets on our last day there. (I am not in this picture, I took it : )

I have to admit that the slump public education finds itself in has affected me more than I was aware of. So much so that it impeded my genuine love of presenting information and sharing it with my students. I would hate most days and went into work slightly nauseated as I thought of the ridiculous lesson plans I was forced to implement and only happy on special days when the lesson planning was all done by me and for my students engagement. I have learned that I need to do what I feel comfortable with and leave the restrictions behind me. I also need to plan for what will work best for me and my sanity.
So this summer I will be planning for next year (at least as soon as I am positive about which grade I am being sent to...Yes, I still don't know!). And I will be exercising my blogging muscles and practicing my own writing. As I love to tell my students, you only get better with practice. And I plan to get much better!!

Here Comes Dr. Seuss...

Well I have not posted on here for what feels like forever. But now I feel I must discuss one of my favorite weeks of the year. The week I dedicate each year to Dr. Seuss!!!

Some of my favorite quotes:
"I looked and I saw him right there on the mat. I looked and I saw him that cat in the hat."
"I would not, could not on boat, or with a goat. I could not, would not in house or with a mouse."
"A person's a person no matter how small."
"Today is the day I am going to sleep." (My favorite)

Well last year in first grade I chose to dedicate my classroom to Horton Hears a Who, maybe because it had come out on DVD or maybe because I had picked that as my new favorite, regardless of the reason I went all out. I used talents unbeknowst to me. I recreated the characters and scenery in the story and had a parent volunteer make more life size versions of my re-created characters to be placed all over the room. I made vines and leaves out of felt and brown pipe cleaners to make my classroom into the Jungle of Nool. I had three huge windows in my classroom that I covered with some blue paper reminiscent of the colors used in the Dr. Seuss book and on that paper drew a scene right out of the book using oil pastels.
I was not the only one hard at work on decorating my classroom for Horton. My first graders loved the idea of the Whoos and I handed each of them a piece of a white poster board I had cut into different puzzle pieces which I then asked them to draw their own versions of Whoos. I then put the puzzle back together and though none of the children drew any of their Whoos in the same exact way, the newly created poster looked very cohesive. They also wrote about their favorite part of the story on an elephant writing sheet they then colored it to look like Horton.
My room was a show piece! It was marvelous!!! And I forgot to take pictures of most of it! (Sigh) I was so excited about creating this wonderful piece of art that I forgot to take out my camera before the parade and afterwards started taking everything down again forgetting to take pictures of it. I thought this year would be the year I would again repeat the re-creation of a Dr. Seuss book, but was then told that this year it would not happen the same as last year. Regardless of this, I have chosen The Lorax as my book this year and will not be doing as much as last year but I will be creating some Seuss inspired snacks and the kids will be working on a book of character webs related to books I will be sharing this week. We will focus on The Lorax and its theme to protect our environment and saving trees which I will use to introduce growing plants and parts of a plant as our science unit. I am so excited about introducing the kids to an author that I love!!

Memo to self: If the same hard little nuts act up, let it go. It's not you or your teaching, it's them and whatever their problem of the day is.

Unfair and ridiculous situations

I have a class of 26 kindergartners. In some places that may be the norm, but in Florida where a class size amendment was passed and is enforced I believe it is illegal. I have been told that regardless of my over large class and that of my two co-workers, not only will they not hire another teacher because the funds are not available but I am not given any kind of help.
I probably would not make a big deal of this situation in most other schools but because of the concentrated population of children with emotional problems, ADHD, and horrible parenting in the area in which I teach it can make a day of school seem never ending. Not all of my students are examples of these situations and it is for them that I show up each day, but the neighborhood in which I teach sadly not all parents care about their child's education. They care about ridiculous things like dance money getting lost (by their child not me, though they blame me regardless), about their child not receiving treats (you wouldn't give a treat to a child writing on your furniture and disrespecting you), or getting mad because I threw out their child's hair ribbon (after repeatedly getting told to put it away and then told it would get thrown out if not done so, she said no, and I threw it away). This is what I deal with on a daily basis. I understand budgets are tight everywhere but the lack of sympathy and assistance is just starting to get to me. I spend hours preparing for lessons, trying to make them fun, interesting and interactive. I spend my own money buying supplies for art, copies (which I am also being gipped on), and laminating and neglecting myself and my spare time coming up with all these activities.
I love teaching but it seems to not love me back very much. And I know it is silly to expect love back from a profession but teaching was not one of those. The kids made the jobs worthwhile. But each and every year the children are becoming more demanding and less agreeable and in this particular neighborhood where a lot of the parents are having children with issues just so they can  collect money from the government and not because they want to raise them properly they can be downright horrible to teach. Its sad to see children jaded at 5 and not at all respectful of authority figures.
I love some of my students and I can usually tell which ones I will like depending on what their parents are like. The parents that are interested in their children tend to have the children most interested in doing well and it is for them I come to work each day. It is for them that I am happy to spend my money and time. Those children do not deserve to have their days ruined by the children who will grow up to be just like the parents who can not be bothered to raise them. Though I am old enough to be raising children of my own I am not so it upsets me that I have to be the one giving these children manners, showing them how to behave while eating, and how to deal with others.
This is not one of my better posts but between the horrible experiences I have had the past couple of weeks and how I felt yesterday it was something that needed to be expressed. I have had many people question why I have stayed at this school for as long as I have if it frustrates me so and I usually answer because of the children. For some of these children I am the only stability in their lives. Coming to school and seeing me and telling me about their day helps them feel loved and safe in a way they don't always feel at home. For them I have stayed. For my babies who I taught in kindergarten who are now in third grade learning to be young ladies and gentlemen. To see them grow and mature, it is a special priviledge that elementary school teachers are privy to more so than those in middle school and high school, but my sanity probably can't take any more of this population no matter how much I may be needed there.

Carving a Pumpkin...

Well, I have been complaining to myself about how few interesting activities I have been able to plan to do with this kids. Things that make them excited and motivated to learn about things so I decided to do something that I have never done before...carve a pumpkin. I may be an American citizen but I wasn't born here and did not grow up with any of these traditions and frankly as adorable as all these pictures of kids with pumpkins look I also think it is kind of an odd thing to get so excited about. Then again I have never done it so maybe I shouldn't prejudge an activity I have never participated in.

The past couple of weeks personally have not been great. My sciatica pains are improving but it can still be painful to walk or sit or stand for long periods so work has been crazy. I have not been at my best with the kids so I also did this as a bit of a make up activity for my lack of enthusiasm about the things we are doing lately. I truly think some of these children were sent by the good Lord to test my patience and others as a gift. Some of these children are so bright and interested in everything going on around them it astounds me and makes me want to do more for them, so I sent my poor, already over worked mother out in search of a pumpkin. (Driving around and carrying things are sadly not allowed in my condition, so my mom who is probably the nicest person I will ever know volunteered to find a pretty pumpkin to use.)

I had perfect attendance of course, I have almost always had perfect attendance for some crazy reason I do not understand and don't always want to have. The kids noticed the big pumpkin almost immediately along a with a baby pumpkin my mom thought to bring for me to cheer me up and got super excited, which may not have been the best way to start the day. They were talkative most of the day and drove me bananas, so in the afternoon when I got ready to carve I called up only a handful of students to help me with the prep work.

They all got to feel the outside of the pumpkin and touch the seeds before putting them in a wet paper towel and a baggie to see them grow into a plant. It was awesome to see how some of them reacted to the inside of the pumpkin, a large number of them had never felt a real pumpkin before let alone seen the inside of one. I often forget that the population of children I teach has such a specific field of reference and while some of them at five and six have lived through things that would curdle my blood, some of these simple and sweet things most people experience as babies or small children they do not get. It is always awesome to see a child experience something new. Their little eyes light up and their smile is wider, it's one of the reasons I love teaching and sharing these kind of experiences with others.

I guess my own physical pains have reminded me of some of the reasons why I do what I do and have made me realize that if I am not happy with what I am doing I need to change it. Just as I always tell people if you don't like what you are doing YOU are the only one that can change it. I need to follow my own advice, so let's see what fun ideas I can come up with for November and December my most favorite months of the year... :)

Feeling the strain

I haven't written in forever. It seems that no matter how much work I get done there always seems to be more. Between centers and weird writing lesson plans and all the things people want me to do I think I am going to lose my mind.

I still have 26 kids and now all on my own for sure. I wish that I could say that I am doing a phenomenal job in teaching these children but I am always behind. I am not doing the million things that are even on my lesson plans because I spend too much time trying to keep the children in order. I am resenting all the people giving me advice on handling my class when they are not in my shoes each and every day. While one kid is throwing a fit another one is hitting one on the back and running away and I am left to wonder where to turn to and which situation to handle first.

There are some days when all I want to do is cry and let them run all over me but then I see my good kids. The ones that are always sitting up nice and tall waiting to hear directions and I tell myself for those kids I need to try. I need to get over myself and teach the lesson on my plans. When I do this I know for a fact that there will be a bunch of kids not listening to directions or doing whatever they feel like instead of getting the education they come to school to get. It depresses me to think that I am working as hard as I am and still only a few of the goals will be met. I keep telling myself that if they know all their letters and sounds and how to write the numbers to 20 I will be happy, but this is a sad  little goal. I have children in that class that are already reading small words and that have a high level of comprehension but I have so many more that can barely write their first name legibly (or not at all) who may not even reach that small goal.

This year is depressing to think about but sitting here in bed while I try to get over a sciatica flare up there is very little else to think over. Maybe I should just read a book....

My view on centers

I can honestly say I love the idea of centers. Whether or not these children or my reading coach will like the way I do centers is always the toss up. I like being able to work with a small group and get to better understand my students' strengths and weaknesses. (The things they say in small groups are also hilarious!)

So tomorrow I go in to start explaining how centers will work to these 5 year olds who have just gotten used to who class instruction. I am taking deep breaths and hoping that the activities I have chosen are interesting enough to keep their attention and that most will remember the directions. My biggest concern is that the centers themselves need to be self-explanatory or quick to explain since the children can't read any directions and I can't seem to find a way to make all my directions in picture format.

I am rambling and rambling on and on but the last time I taught kindergarten was the first time I had centers up and running like clockwork. So why ramble and get nervous? Well....this will depend on a co-teacher that has never taught reading before so I will have to given him a list of activities to do with the kids in his groups. Also...I have 24-26 kids in the room so movement and having someone in charge of each group will be very important to making this work. I can't run around cleaning up after each group or that's all I will be doing.

I feel tired just thinking about beginning this mission. I also think it is odd to do centers when in all honesty most of my kids are exactly in the same place. All need to learn letters and sounds. I really only have three or four who already know this and are ready to begin blending sounds into words and I guess for them is why I would like to start centers in the first place. It will give me a chance to get them to practice reading with me and reviewing sight words. I guess I wish me luck and may hte force be with me.

P.S. Friday was a pretty great day!!! We got tons of work done, I had very few behavior issues, and then my great day got interrupted by a data chat at the very end of the day where I was made to feel that either everything I am doing sucks or is not good enough. Being at this school feels like such a chore at times even when the kids are at their best. Oh well! Need to lift the spirits and focus on having a great week.